Blended Family Part 2
So what does a day in the life of a deca mom look like? Let’s just say it can be hectic. But it is the most rewarding life I could ask for.
There used to be a time when I would completely flip out over every little thing. Like let’s be real, I was the worst kind of helicopter mom out there. My batch (and yes they come in batches lol) but my batch couldn’t realistically enjoy the joys and scary parts of being kids. Because of the fact that I wanted to shield them from all harm. It wasn’t until I got with my fiance that I learned how to be a patient and giving with my time and bite back the urge to shield.
Now day to day life is hectic at times, I admit. But with that chaos comes a sort of harmony within our blend. Our older 2 are aged 13 and 12. And I will be honest, without them being the best 2 older siblings we could ask for, life would be even more chaotic than it is. See, each of these 2 has taken on a role of trust and support within our kids dynamic that allows myself as well as their dad and both of the other moms to fulfill ALL of our responsibilities as their parents. They are a blessing in and of themselves and have come to play such an integral role with all of their siblings.
Our middle children, ages ranging from 5 to 11, are all pretty self sustainable but they all still have their difficulties and needs. Our second oldest daughter currently has school and her therapy sessions to cope with as well as taking on sports for school extras. So she has her hands full all on her own. Our second oldest son is in speech therapy for a condition he had when he was a baby, as well as tackling the 3rd grade and learning about who he is as a person. Not to mention his love of all things electronic and trying to learn how to be the best gamer possible. The third in line for the girls is taking on 3rd grade as well and learning how to cope with ADHD during her school time and home time. Then we have our 7 year old who just started first grade and is also dealing with ADHD as well as helping her momma with the youngest 3. All of whom are under the age of 3. The youngest of the middle group is 5. She just started kindergarten this year and buddy lemme tell ya, it’s a lot to keep up with.
We have a total of 7 children in school. Each of them, except the 8 year olds, in different grades. Each grade requiring different levels of assistance to keep them on track. As you can probably imagine, it does get difficult from time to time. One of our saving graces is that during the week our batches are with us. So my batch is with me full time. My sister mom, Lyndzi, has her 3 and Jessie has her 4. So we all have our times to help the kids in school with things that they need help with and work on what they need. All while keeping up with each other on what the other batches need. Harmony.
During the weekends we usually have all 10 out here with us. And those are the times when the real chaos starts up. Our youngest three children are all under the age of 3. The youngest 2 are actually paternal twins but I keep getting the idea that they should be identical. They like to switch faces. It’s a whole thing lol. Linkin is the older by a whole minute and Roscoe is the younger. But if you were to see them together you would think it the other way round. Our youngest daughter is soon to be 3 and is rapidly learning SO MUCH new stuff to explore and trouble to get into. Ya know, typical toddler stuff. But when you put them all in the same room, oh there is nothing like it!
The babies all absolutely love to play together and the middle kids all find ways to include everyone and it’s great. For the most part. The most chaotic of times comes when they all get fed up with each other and want to fight over EVERYTHING. It is in those moments that I find myself learning the most.
Each child has their own needs. They are tiny little people who don’t always know how to control or properly express their feels. Especially the really BIG ones. One thing I had to learn very rapidly, how to listen to each of them. Not just hear them. When fights break out I have learned how to get each child to take a breath and recenter themselves so that they can say what they need to say. And once they are able to, we give each of them their time in turn to tell us what is going on. Learning to let them express what they need to express has helped in so many ways. They are learning a balance I only wish I had learned long ago.
It is also during those times that I find myself learning not just about how to help them but how to help myself. I have come to a whole new level of patience that I didn’t think possible honestly. Every one of our kids has a unique way to cope with their really big feels, and in learning that with them I know how to help each of them when it gets overwhelming. And there are a lot of times that it can get very overwhelming for them. That balance that I spoke of? Yeah they learn each time how to let out the frustration safely in a way that doesn’t hurt them or anyone else, and find the peace within to openly talk about what is upsetting them.
The utmost rewarding experience that I have gained from this crazy chaotic life? Every single one of my children trusts me to see them as they are and help them with any challenge that life can throw at them. As I said in my previous article, I don’t have step-children. I have kids that were born before I got to meet them. And I have spent this time learning with them so that I can be the best mom to them that I possibly can be. This life of mine is absolutely worth every minute of chaos and learning.
This is my life and I am excited to share it with anyone who wishes to experience it through my writing.
May your days be bright and full of joy!
Taylor
